Kitsch'n, Acorn Road, Jesmond

I spotted this one a couple of days ago and thought I should give it a go.  I even found a stalwart friend to accompany me.  Said stalwart friend is a little miffed not to have a cuddly nickname like Wombat or Hamster.  'Your own fault,' I said. 'Choose a name now.'  There is no pleasing some people.  My suggestions of Gerbil and Koala were rebuffed and after that it got a bit silly.  Who'd want to be known as Three Toed Sloth?  Actually, you may not think that's too bad once I introduce you to Polyglot.  Yes, you did read right and don't even think of Polly Parrot, that went down really badly.

Now to business!  The cafe seems to be channelling the sort of 50s/60s vibe I've seen in certain icecream parlours locally.  Lots of American posters on walls, vinyl covered bench seating round rectangular tables.  It's just what I remember from my youth.  We heeded the notices that suggested only groups of three or more should used the bench tables and went to sit on the tables opposite.  It's a mixed clientele - groups of students sipping smoothies and construction workers ordering bacon butties to take out or all day breakfasts to eat in.

We decided on coffees and a piece of carrot cake to share.  My latte was very nice and Polyglot (do I have to?) seemed satisfied with an expresso.  As a youngster, however, he was slightly foxed by the sugar which was a a glass dispenser with a spout and not hygenic paper tubes.  It also came in white only.  Ah, those were the days.  The cake was beautifully moist and came adorned with whipping cream and a toffee sauce, making it look extra special.

This is one to pop into if in Jesmond, the menu seems more savoury than sweet but I think the students and construction workers will ensure it pays its way.

Not only, but also

Strange the ways that life leads us down towards yet more cafe experiences and inner wisdom, grasshopper (for those old enough to remember that programme).  Who could have guessed that this week would have led me to tea with a bishop, a doctor and a former American president?  OK, it didn't exactly but it sounds good doesn't it?  Here's what really happened.

A friend and I decided on a trip to Durham.  It was meant to be window shopping only, but y'know, and then we decided to stop for coffee. We decided against the ever popular Vennells and my own favourite Cafe Nine Altars and strolled up to Palace Green.  And there before us, was Bishop Cosin's Almshouses where a pot of tea for two and two slices of cake will set you back a tenner.  That should keep marauding armies at bay.  Yes, the cake was fab and made by Lottie McPhee's but even so.

In complete contrast, a text the following day led me to the Royal Victoria Infirmary in Newcastle to visit a friend.  Once the initial concern over said friend's condition had been allayed, I felt free to wander to the cafe for a drink.  Have you been to the RVI?  It is palatial. Costa coffee. And there could have been a doctor there.  Memories came flooding back of visits to another outpatient department many years ago with my father.  The place was like a bear pit, with a lone WRVS lady stranded in the maelstrom protected only by her twinset and pearls, as the sick and the lame barged to their clinics.  Dad used his walking stick to good effect to reach the diabetic clinic for a blood test and a video on the evils of refined sugar by the late Sir Harry Secombe. With youth on my side, I slid to the canteen for a cup of instant and a Mars bar served by yet more WRVS ladies who had hoisted a Union Jack and resolved to die fighting. 

And the president?  Well, I went to Washington Arts Centre where my friends and I were served slightly grudgingly we felt.  There were three of us and only two muffins (not much else!), but we were civilised and chose KitKats instead.  The setting is marvellous but they seem to be aiming for the lunch trade rather than coffee and snacks.

So, none of these are The Place for this week.  Where will it be?  Today or tomorrow all will be revealed.

Collectables, St James Retail Park, Stamfordham Road

I'm doing rather well for coffees out at the moment.  A friend suggested we meet at this one as it's handy for both of us and you can get a sausage or bacon roll with a hot drink for £1.95 if you go before 11.30am.  I had sausage with brown sauce, she had bacon with mushrooms (add 50p).  It was very nice.  The whole shop is new, so the cafe and its furnishings are bright and shiny.  The salads and cakes look fresh and fab and there are other offers too - the day we went it was two for one on cold sandwiches.  All in all a great little refuge  with free parking, a chance to examine Collectables' stock and visit the other stores in the retail park.  What's not to like?  I'll be doing this one again soon.

J J, Eldon Square shopping centre

A small but heartfelt hurrah too for this little establishment near the back entrance to the shopping centre.  Nice tea and caramel shortbread.  Nice staff.  Nice barstool seating overlooking Clayton Street so you can watch the world go by, newspapers.  The perfect place for a quick cuppa...

Cafe Bar One, Jesmond Road

The cafes are still coming thick and fast - only the other day I spotted another one on Gosforth High Street.  And earlier in the week, spotted at the traffic lights I made a spur of the moment decision to follow the sign saying Cradlewell shops and ended up in Cafe Bar One.  You can see it from the road, and there is plenty of parking during the day (usual Jesmond parking rules apply, but midday, early afternoon is fine). 

CBO has two highlights for me.  The first is the window seat.  Yes!  A real window seat with a lovely squidgy cushion!  Having spent my middle years grumbling about youngsters putting their feet on metro seats, I didn't feel I could quite curl up as I would have liked, but I managed a kind of half-curl with no part of my feet actually on the cushion and nobody gave me a death-stare so I assume it was OK.  From this vantage point  I could take in my surroundings.  Outside, trees, traffic vehicular and pedestrian.  Inside a mixed bunch of walkers and business people all spoilt for choice by the menu and transfixed by the special offers.  Could be exaggerating here, no one looked particularly transfixed, nevertheless you can get a good deal on a sandwich and coffee.  Light wood flooring and furniture here and fairtrade credentials evident, also allergy awareness, so Hamster and Wombat would be OK for soya milk if ever we visit together.  Friendly staff, goes without saying; also a nice kind of bittersweet music that fitted my mood.

And the second highlight?  The chocolate cake!  Apparently people beat a path to the door to get this, and you should too!  This glorious confection is made by the owner's aunt, apparently.  They should have a portrait of her over the till!  Imagine real chocolate topping, bits of chocolate in the actual cake mixture, a wonderful vanilla buttercream-and-then-some filling,  AND you can have cream or icecream with it, though personally I think it would be sacrilege to mix even another such marvellous taste with this cake.

I think I've said enough.  Better let the cake do the talking.

Blakes coffee shop, Grey Street

So many people have mentioned Blakes to me that I decided it was high time I visited.  Indeed, given where it is etc etc it's surprising that I haven't been before!  I met a friend there, we debated about sitting outside but I do prefer indoors, so in we went.  It had a good atmosphere - convivial may be the word.  We sat at a table in the window on a kind of dais so we could survey all the coming and going , and believe me this place is obviously beloved of office workers, shoppers and students alike.  The choice of food seemed wide and imaginative and the place is open late enough to make it a good venue pre-theatre or post work.

My lasting impressions were of a place that is buzzing, humming with life.  It's more that the standard dark furniture/wood floor/friendly staff combo.  Maybe Blakes is such a part of the local scene that it really does have a life of its own.

Paper and Chalk, Nelson Street

I'd invited my little animal friends Hamster and Wombat to accompany me again and they suggested this venue having perused its website and decided this suited their dietary requirements.  Then I realised I had a problem - which was Hamster and which was Wombat?  We're at the stage in our friendship where you feel you can't ask again.

Anyway, we found Paper and Chalk cunning concealed under scaffolding, nestling opposite the Grainger market.  Inside was fashionably dark and compact. I thought there were more tables further in, but that turned out to be the beauty salon that is also part of the business.  As most of the tables were taken inside, we decided it was warm enough to sit out.  Hamster (or was it Wombat) looked cool in a fashionable maxi dress, while Wombat (or was it Hamster) wore collar and tie (tie removed when warm weather was announced - just like school).

It was nice to sit out and catch up and people watch.  The coffee was just warm but soya milk was on offer for those needing it.  I enjoyed my cheese scone and the cake that H&W shared looked nice too.  We completed the morning by skilfully arranging the sugars into an attractive pattern.  See below.